


Keine's Sex Education

by Circe_the_Hex_Witch



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Banned Together Bingo 2020, Everyone except Keine and Seija play pretty minor roles, F/F, Sex Education
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24138193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Circe_the_Hex_Witch/pseuds/Circe_the_Hex_Witch
Summary: My first fic for Banned Together Bingo! For more info on the prompt and how I chose to fill it: https://circe-the-hex-witch.dreamwidth.org/979.htmlA lighthearted little fic where Keine tries to give a proper sex ed lesson to some of the residents of Gensokyo, but she has some trouble keeping it on track.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17
Collections: Banned Banned Together Bingo 2020, Banned Togethe Bingo Recovery, Banned Together Bingo 2020





	Keine's Sex Education

Today, the Hakurei Shrine is more crowded than normal. A group of girls are sitting cross-legged on the floor, and Keine is standing at the front with a wheeled chalkboard, turning the shrine into a makeshift classroom.

Keine taps a bamboo pointer against the chalkboard. "Alright, I think the sex ed class is ready to begin. Does anyone have any questions before we get started?"

A hand raises from the middle of the crowd.

"Yes, Reimu?"

"Are you sure there was no other place we could've done this?"

Keine crosses her arms. "Where else would it be safe to have youkai and humans all gather together?" She peers over the crowd. "Although, mostly youkai are here...honestly, I'm disappointed. Some of you have lived longer than any human, and you don't know what a clitoris is. Including some of you who _have_ one!"

Yukari flashes a wry smile. "How did that topic of conversation come up with so many different girls?"

Keine blushes and stammers a bit. "Th-that's...it's not relevant to the lesson, so let's move on!"

"Well, _I_ know what a clitoris is." Marisa pipes up smugly. There's an awkward pause. "You know...because I've seen one." Marisa deflates a little at the lack of reaction. "You know...my girlfriend's?"

"Enough, enough, I didn't bring you all here for sex _gossip_. Let's just, start with the basics here! Ahem. So let's talk about anatomy." Keine picks up a piece of chalk and begins to draw. She produces two rather detailed diagrams, although there's visible disappointment on a few faces that they're of the dry textbook sort, rather than something a little spicier.

"Okay, class. So as you know, some girls have this..." She taps a diagram depicting a vulva, vagina, and womb. "...and some girls have this." She taps a second diagram depicting a penis and testes.

Another hand pops up.

"Yes, Rin?"

"What parts do boys have?"

Keine rubs her chin and looks thoughtful. "Nobody knows. I'm not sure boys are involved in the reproductive process."

The lesson continues on, with Keine explaining reproduction in detail, erogenous zones, different positions and sex acts, all with the dryness of her usual history lessons. Some of her students are visibly nodding off or zoning out, having clearly been expecting their sex ed lesson to be sexier than this.

"Hey!" Keine says, gesturing at the class with her pointer. "Pay attention." As the pointer bobs up and down in her hand, Chen, sitting right in front, reaches up to try and bat and grab at it. Keine sighs and lifts the pointer out of her reach.

In the back of the class, Seija stands up. "But this is so boring! We're supposed to be learning about sex! Where's the naked pictures? The live demonstrations?"

Keine huffs. "Do you think you'd be learning anything if you were all...cavorting around without clothes on, or looking at pornography? No, you can go do that later, and you'll be all the better at it for my lessons! Where did you get the idea that's what we'd be doing anyway?"

Seija picks up a manga she brought with her. "That's what sex ed looks like in all these stories." She opens up the book for everyone to see, and several of the students blush rather brightly at the sight. "See, the teacher invites one of the students up to..."

"No, no, no!" Keine waves the pointer back and forth. Chen tries again to bat at it, without success. "This is real life, where classes are about _education_!"

"Ugh, whatever." Seija walks around to the front of the class. "I wanna take a turn teaching. Nobody's paying attention anyway!" She tries to push Keine away from the blackboard, and Keine baps at her with the pointer, until finally she just gives up.

"Fine, since you don't value my expert teaching, let's see how well you do."

"That's more like it." Seija snatches the pointer and wags it at Keine. "We didn't even see any drawings of the positions, so how are we supposed to figure them out? See, this is why I'll be a better teacher." She picks up the chalk and attempts to draw two figures engaged in some kind of sex act. After several failed attempts, she realizes that she can't actually draw very well.

"Hmph. Messing around with this chalk board is boring anyway. Let's get on with the live demonstration!"

Keine's face turns red. "Ugh, that's so...unprofessional. A-and that's why I'm leaving! Not for any other reason!" She turns and stomps out of the shrine in an embarrassed huff. As she's leaving, Seija is already in the middle of pulling her clothes off and pointing to someone in the crowd. "You, cute stuff, come on up here..."

...At the end of the day, the whole class came away much better educated about sex. But since they went through both Keine's lesson and Seija's practical demonstrations, nobody could agree on which actually helped more.


End file.
